1321hrs its lunch time now...
n im doing nothing and i dunnoe what am i thinking haha...
alots and alots...
>friends
>relationship
>family

argh!!! work at time make me lost all dis thinking... ppl say work is stress for me at time it let me forget everything...

syawal is ahead...i got dis feeling...
i want to listen to raya song i want i want.. but i feel very sayu n shahdu...
i feel very sad n feel lke crying... am i being to emo?? hurmph...

aqilah you have change n i dunnoe weather others notice anot...usually dis time u r the cheerful people on the earth but whats wrong with you!!!

i dunnoe!! i think i need a counselling... argh!! as u noe ive been thinking all above...

>friends;
what is your defination of friendship...
i just like to create dis poem...
Thanks for being there for me,
through good times and bad times.
I will be on your side even if the the world ends.
When the world is going,
I will be here,
now and until the end.
Your my very best friend.
The one that I look up to.
The one that I run to, when I have a problem.
The one that I talk to.
Your the one best friend that was always there for me.
I wanna thank you for all the things you gave and showed me.

Lil Fren im sorry... i need a time off but i dunnoe y i feel like let u to contact me back... i just hate it... at times i wonder y must i keep cntct ppl... do they like it?? am i forcing u to tok to me??
Lil Fren im lost now...
let the times ans everything...

>relationship;
how to start... ive been seeing abbie smiling lately... and he really happy noe after we have a good talk and decision...
but abbie didnt see the sorrow in me as u noe ive been keep smiling and stay happy infront of people only here u may noe all the black and white of me...

yest had our dinner (buka) with him... specially went to breeks and eat.. haha kaya!kaya! haha
he order half bbq chicken and it was very2 nice n i eat fish dory spicy speghatti and its quite nice...yummy!!
he make my days yest and make me forget abt my probs for awhile...

just cant wait to go shopping with him...

this is what he want...
> listening to him (i dun think so as hes not my officially husband but to certain extend i will)
> stop talking abt my frens ( but then what am i going to do?? we did make a promise before i agree to be ur Girlfriend)

although yar like i dun think im doing dat but im happy with him...
but i hope he change his way...
Feelings that once were hidden
Are now expressed to you.
Days that once were stormy
Are now the brightest blue.

Times that once were lonely
Are now filled with pleasure.
All that once was mine alone
Are now things we both treasure.

Nights that once were cold
Are now comforting and warm.
Fears that once were very real
Are now gone with the storm.

abbie.. u are too stubborn but i hope evrything will be fine...
appreciate...

>Family;
this is the difficult part..i dunnoe n im wondering... argh!!
y? n y?
i dun think my family shatterd but i dun see any happiness...i want the old times...
y people surround us masuk campur??
better u make ur decision wisely dad...

just want to confess dis in end november 2007, my dad was retrenched... and dat time i was preparing for my exams i dunnoe till my mom confess to me when my utilities at home have been cut off... ive cried n did run away... dats my mom first fear...
i really2 sad...all my dreams shatterd to cont study and everything only god noe how i felt and ppl mite say it in easy way but not my family...
since den he started a business with me n my mom support... he open a stall in a school selling chicken rice... and also he werk part time at shell...
and now my father side have been like discourage him abt his business... they should give him a support instead..but?? argh!! what are u guys trying to do..

my family is like an endless story... i heard my mom say this " bila kite nak hidup macam biase balik" to tell the truth my dad use to have alot of "hutang" yar... haiz and slowly im like and all of us helping hin to clear...
i noe nobody is perfect in this world...
i hope one day i pray for the happiness will come true... insyaallah amin....

Our family is the proverbial egg that we were hatched from. Everything about us. both nature and nurture comes from this place. Our family is everything. Sometimes we choose to run away from our roots because they are too painful to face. Ultimately however, if we do not face where we came from, we will have difficulty understanding our present and future.

P.S: if you think ive change come forward and tell me..im happy you approach me...

aqilah i hope you dun think much u just need to relex..although this have happen all this while... to aqilah Lil Fren she really need you just dat she cant face you now... to aqilah boyfie aksd her problem n do care about her dun sit der although u see her happy... to aqilah family insyaallah happiness will be der just abit more to go n all those effort will paid off bak patah berkata... biar susah dulu senang kemudian... insyaallah... amin...

Labels: the feeling